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Viewing 1 - 9 out of 9 Blogs.
This is a video I made over a year ago. It has helped a number of families.
Tags: Autism Video
Acceptable Deviance is Destroying Us: Acceptable deviance is a point that falls short of what is expected, yet is still allowed. Unfortunately, we have taken acceptable deviation to whole new extremes. In a reasonable light, acceptable deviation covers the idea that not everyone can do things the same or as well as others. Just because one person can hit the bulls eye every single time, doesn't mean that every average person should be expected to, right? Sadly, it's gone to a deep dark level that's tearing the fabric of society and the economy to shreds. We can blame the politicians all we want, but we have allowed them to behave this way for a long time. We've allowed ourselves luxuries that we cannot afford and corporations that we allow to be in control take advantage. When a child does something that you know he or she shouldn't, but you say nothing, you are teaching the child something. You are saying, “that's okay” because you took no action. This is a two-fold problem. First, the child has learned something in error and you have allowed yourself to error as well. By doing nothing you make both behaviors “acceptable”. Banks are practicing this right now in order to make a quick buck. If you use your check card, but don't have enough money in the bank, it may still go through. You get what ever you were purchasing and get slammed with a horrible bank fee in the bargain. The bank is telling you that buying when you don't have the money is acceptable. Not keeping track of your money is acceptable. Overdrawing your account is acceptable. It's a slippery slope and a big mess and it's only getting bigger. This is how the housing industry fell. Deviance from reason started at the top and rolled on down to the home owner. Getting a home loan you can't pay is acceptable. And this isn't the only place it's happening. It's everywhere. We allow people to walk around with their pants around their knees or mid thighs in public. We didn't use to, but then we gave up and now it's acceptable. Large groups of teens are allowed to congregate, loiter and act vulgar towards adults, it's acceptable. We even let the quality of our food and water slip to the point that people are getting sick or dying (re: spinach, tomatoes, peanuts, and public school drinking water). We allow inappropriate behavior on all levels and it's because we do nothing. What's worse, we abandon our core beliefs. Beliefs that we built this country on. Now we cut corners for everything and mistreat our fellow man. It's acceptable.
Tags: Opinion Living
If the interenet is an ocean, then we are all the fish. Who are the fishermen, the advertisers are. And we need to watch out for them. Sadly, the internet is a jungle of corruption, scams, and outright lies. You can find anything you want on the internet, but it could cost you more than just a few dollars. I could cost you your identity, your financial future, and even your life. You are bombarded by ads everywhere you go, even where you are reading this. What's worse is that they will prey on your every indulgence and flaw. Overweight? There are thousands of diets and miracle pills for you on the internet. Too bad not a single one will help you. They'll take your money and send you their product but you won't lose weight. That or you'll kill yourself by taking diet pills and not eating anymore. If they're lying, why are they so successful? Because they know you want it easy. You want to lose weight and not lift a finger to pull it off. So they have your miracle diets, miracle pills, colon cleansers, super nutritions and not a single one approved by the FDA. Not a single one with proven case trials or a track record of any kind. All you see is paid actors spouting about how their life changed. But there is no Easy Street in losing weight. The hard truth is this; quit inhaling food, get off your butt, and exercise somehow every day. Stop giving your money to the internet theives and take your health into your own hands. These are lies, these are scams, don't click on them. Need money? Get yourself a grant or post links, or better yet go to loan sharks and owe forever. I have taken a good close look at several of these supposed miracle money makers and I find that, once again, there is no easy street. Don't you think it's interesting that the guy who wants to give you his big secret to get millions doesn't have millions himself? Oh he claims he does, but if that's true, it's because of you. Sure, he gets a thousand people to pay him fifty bucks for his "miracle information". He may not be a millionaire, but fifty grand is nothing to sneeze at. And that's just for one round of cheap advertising. And there isn't a goverment stockpile of money laying around in a garage just waiting for you to walk in with a bucket. It's a lie. Stop giving your money to the scam artists and put it to some real work for you somewhere. Like paying your mortgage. Once again the word easy pops out, it's a mythical fairy creature, it doesn't really exist. Don't click on them. And those are just the two most popular. Hey, whiten your teeth, make spots disappear from your skin, be beautiful and while your at it become a werewolf or Santa Claus. I've seen dozens of reports online from the authorities with FDA, FBI, BBB, and a bunch more, saying that "if it looks too good to be true, then it is too good to be true". Evidently, from what I have witnessed, this message is not enough. So let's get more blunt on it. See those little ads floating all around the things you are reading? DON'T CLICK ON THEM! And if you do, know this: there is no regulating authority making sure that all these scammers are legitimate. You click at your own risk with no possible recourse to save you. Your money will be gone, and you will have something for your dumpster to show for it. So, that ad you were just glancing at? That miracle, easy, free for your money, secret? DON'T CLICK THAT!
Tags: Money Finance Fraud Scams
My son has become a pocket gopher. I'm already wrought with worry because he's underweight and we need to get some pounds on him. He's not an overly picky eater, but he's developed a serious habit. He stores food in his cheeks and not just a little of it. When his dish is empty he shows it to me with pride and I commend him. Then it's off to play. But not so fast. I have to make him sit back down and finish the bulging mouthful he has. On a couple of occasions I have found him playing with his toys 15-30 minutes later with a golf ball sized bulge on the side of his face. He never finished that last bite. So what is he doing? Storing it as a snack for later? I asked him about this, curious to his logic. Well, asking him only upset him. He doesn't know why he does it, he just does it. He also doesn't like talking about how he feels. So all I can do really is just make him sit at the table until his mouth is as empty as his plate. Past that, we may never know completely why our children on the autism spectrum do everything that they do. Most of it has to do with sensory of some type. Maybe it just feels good to have something stuffed in his cheek? Needless to say, our kids can come up with some strange habits. If you don't wind up scratching your head in wonder at some things your child does, well, you're likely not paying enough attention.
Tags: Autism Parenting Behaviors
I want to tell you about something that happened in the midst of moving to our new place. We loaded up everyones vehicles for our first trip. The volunteers were ready to go. Denver and I stopped at a gas station for something to drink and I offered Denver the chance to pick a donut. He felt pretty good about that and started looking over what they had to offer.
Then frustration set in. He didn't feel that he could make a choice. He felt overwhelmed. No doubt, the moving and all the extra activity around him helped to make that happen. I tried to make suggestions and even tried to just pick something for him. No, that wouldn't do. He just wanted to leave and started to get rather loud about that. So, with plenty of witnesses already, I paid for my drink and we went outside.
I opened the van and turned to wait for Denver to get in. He stood by the front of the vehicle crying. Now he wanted to go in and make a choice. By this time, I knew the volunteers had to be there, waiting for us to come open the door. I informed Denver that he would have to wait for the return trip now to make a decision because now it was too late. WHAMMO! Instant meltdown. He flailed, punching and kicking the side of the van and sank his teeth into his arm.
This required fast action on my part. I grabbed him up, taking assault myself, and put him into the seat of the van. I held his arms and legs down as best I could while endeavoring to avoid teeth and headbutting. His screaming, I'm sure could be heard two blocks away.
Well, in walks Joe Public, who thinks he knows what's going on, but doesn't. This guy comes up from behind me and sticks a spiderman toy into the midst of the fire. I took this as an outright intrusion. I turned to the man as best I could and said NO, I'm sorry but that won't help. I tried to explain that he just needed to calm down. Does the guy take the hint? NO. He tells me when a kid wants something that bad, I should just give it to him.
I told him he had no idea what was going on, that my son was having an autistic meltdown and he proceeded to argue. So I ordered him to get away from us. I even had to say it more than once. He did, but he called the police. Fortunately for me, a very kind lady, who witnessed the entire ordeal stepped in and spoke with the police officer as a witness.
I want to mention that the sight of the officer also scared my son. He thought Daddy was going to be taken away from him. I spoke with the officer and had Denver show his arm where he bit himself almost to the point of blood. The officer took down my information, listened intently, then said he was going to talk to the ones who made the call. That's when he said, "You can go".
Denver did get his donut, just as promised to him in the beginning. Too bad that man couldn't have listened. He only risked himself. In the midst of such a meltdown, spiderman doesn't mean jack. He risked having it thrown at him or getting bit. This is why public education and understanding are so important. Don't we get enough public embarrassment with a meltdown of an autistic child? The only thing we can do, is let it pass while preventing our kids from savagely hurting themselves. Can you imagine what it would look like if we didn't?
Tags: Parenting Meltdowns
The Consumer Protection Predatory Lending Act is one I hope to see pass here in Wisconsin. I think quick loan stores are a financial trap out of control across the country. Interest rates are so high on these loans that you have to pay enormous ammounts to clear the way to the principal. Take my situation for example.
I didn't just go out and get this loan without taking anything into consideration. I did my math and planned out when I could pay off the 600 dollar title loan I got from Payday Loan Store. I didn't expect my finances to take a whopping change at 65% of my income. This didn't matter to the loan store though. There are no fall back clauses for hardships, even the sudden ones.
Thanks to my condition and the interest rate I made $170 dollars a month into the pockets of the lenders and just $5 on the balance of the loan. On a couple of occasions I had to roll over the loan, borrow for the payment amount and that suited them just fine.
They've collected over $2000 from me on an $600 loan that I now owe over $1100 on. My next interest payment will be about $221 and won't put one dime on the principal.
Far more desperate people get these loans for a variety of reasons as well as those who are just plain financially lazy. The loan looks good and covers a short term need or want. After that, however, you have monstrous interest to pay and you better hope you can cover it and not have to roll it over at all. Thousands of people are hopelessly trapped in these pitfall quick loans. Many of them for the titles of their cars. That's my loan, if I can't keep up the interest payments I will lose my van.
So this is a special message for all of you out there. Watch out with quick and easy payday loans. You might just throw yourself into a financial hole that you can't get out of.
Tags: Financial
This is a day coming up for me fast. Because of things like divorce and the fact that I didn't know the finances well enough yet (my ex-to-be was handling that before me), my rent check got shorted and returned. By the time the bank was done with me there was no way I could pay my rent. I had to close out the accounts and start over again. That's not good enough for these landlords and frankly they just aren't very nice people to begin with. So it's a good thing I have to move. The gas for things like hot water and laundry have been shut off downstairs, I can only presume in retaliation for having bad luck. It's illegal in just about every state and they have had me served. That's too bad for them because they've done just about enough to legally hang themselves. I can't say much more than that for legal reasons. The new landlord is very understanding about the fact that I have to wait for our next disability checks in the mail before I can pay him for moving in. After that, my finances will restart anew. Currently I'm trying to find people with strong backs that don't have permanent head injuries like me. Trying to recruit help in a place where I know precious few people. I've talked to a church and put a blog on one of the newspaper sites I go to. I'll be talking to people all week I'll be okay and soon I'll be back to blogging full force but my hands are kind of full with things at the moment.
Tags: Moving
In this post I want to talk to you about stigma and discrimination. These are just words, but they carry the power to destroy lives. Stigma is a negative attitude toward any given characteristic of a person. This is often a broad and community issue fueled by discriminatory behavior of even a few and belief in untruths about those characteristics. Stigma is considered to be a negative portion of discrimination. Discrimination is the treatment or consideration of a group by way of class or category rather than individual merit. It is the assumption that all persons of a particular class or condition are the same whether a negative or positive idea. Discrimination follows the ideas of stereotypes created by stigma in society. There is an assumption that all people with bipolar disorder are dangerous or "crazy". The key to recognizing discrimination for what it is, is the broad and all encompassing assumption. The key is the word "all". It could be substituted with "every" or other similar words. This is how you recognize the falsehood that is discrimination. It is an unrealistic idea and belief in it hurts innocent people. It just isn't possible for every individual with a medical condition to be the absolute same. Just like we have had to learn for race, religion, sex and age. So when are we going to learn? I am going to use myself as my own best example once again. I worked in a career I loved dearly. I was an Animal Control officer and I was looked to with great trust and appreciation of my work for five years, until I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Suddenly, I could do nothing right. I was written up and threatened constantly with disciplinary actions. They were even taking steps to have me put before a comittee to have me even more punished and stripped of my rank. They even decided who they were giving that rank too, long before they got there. If you don't think that's ridiculous yet, try this; on my last review, a reason for me not to get a raise was that I was suddenly afraid of dogs. Never mind the hundreds of them that I had taken in regardless of their attitude or demeanor. Never mind that I handled some of the most dangerous animals the city had to offer. Suddenly and out of the blue, being afraid of dogs (which was not any part of city policy) meant I should not get a merit raise. They lurked over my shoulder on the job and even took complaints they never would have given a thought of, to use against me. They accused me of being sneaky and trying to cover my tracks. Tracks from what? Oh they came up with all kinds of fantastic things. Things that you might take for granted on any given day, but may have been "construable" to appear against the rules. I went to the Equal Opportunity Commission and it took them a full year past the time I had to give up my job. Why did I quit? Because my Union attorney said I was going to be fired if I didn't. The EOC did very little to actually investigate, they barely considered any paperwork I offered and didn't question a single one of my witnessess. They gave me a right to sue letter though. Very flimsy and gave me little chance of justice. After a year of searching, I found an attorney. We filed suit and after a great deal of paperwork a judge decided he just "didn't like it" so through it out of court. See how they all line up for the same belief? Don't think so? How about the assumption that all city offices must be honest? Yep, every single one worked in and lived in the same city and had practically the same beliefs. I was sunk before I even began. Now it's too late. I will never see justice. I suffered an immense breakdown before the discovery that I actually had Asperger's Syndrome which quickly explained everything they thought about me. Not that they cared, they didn't want a crazy person working for them. One of my therapists called what I suffered as "loss of identity". Now, because of them making all of my conditions worse with traumatic levels of stress, I will never work a normal job again. Did I deserve that? Maybe I deserved a write up here or there, but not permanent disability. No one deserves that. So here I am, at my home in Wisconsin because I couldn't stay in Nebraska. And I can tell you that there are plenty who are treated this way for no justifiable reason who take their own lives. I almost did. They are in my nightmares, to this day. Do you know that the laws on discrimination for mental disabilities do not accurately cover anyone who has them? You have to show that your condition actually disables you. Otherwise it is considered perfectly legal to discriminate against you and that is what they told me directly and word for word in Nebraska. It's a good thing they don't do it like that for any of the other categories, otherwise you might have to prove that you are black enough or jewish enough to be discriminated against. Just an example folks. Think about it. Education, it's the answer.
Tags: Discrimination Stigma Autism Bipolar Disability
Hi there. I'm Dave Wilde; writer, artist, father, and advocate for autism awareness. As an adult with autism raising a child with autism, I would like to share my experiences and what I have learned in order to help other families who deal with autism. I also specialize in bipolar issues, personal security and protection and issues with animals. In the coming days, I will bring over some of my information from my blogs and articles. I hope you find them helpful. I am always open to questions, requests and comments, so please don't be shy. It's great to be here, hope everyone is having a great weekend.
Tags: Introduction Autism Awareness Education
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